Kelly Cullen
Introduction to Non-Fiction
Professor Meehan
February 22, 2012
Self Reflection:
I think that my ending paragraph is my strongest. I think I end with leaving the reader thinking more about freedom, and what exactly is complete freedom. For the improvement part, I feel I need to expand more on my thoughts but I have trouble with it.
What is Freedom?
When you hear the word freedom, so much comes to mind. Freedom is supposed to be accompanied with and bring along happiness. It is something we are all supposed to be “guaranteed” with but to some, it is denied. In his narrative To Tell A Free Story, William reasons that there is more than the apparent freedom, and that there is a more complex sense of freedom. We find this to be true through the life stories of authors and protagonists, Frederick Douglass in The Autobiography of Frederick Douglass and Tobias Wolff in This Boy’s Life. Both of these authors show us the complexity of freedom and what it means to be free.
Throughout This Boy’s Life, Tobias Wolff has a constant struggle with self-identity, self-important as well as his freedom. He continues to face barriers and obstacles hindering him from self-improvement. His lack of self-importance, leads him to believe that he is the reason for the life that has been dealt to him and his mother. Because of him, he has an absent father, because of him, his mother constantly finds herself in abusive and destructive relationships. This is clear when he writes “I was subject to fits of feeling myself unworthy, somehow deeply at fault. It didn’t take much to bring this sensation to life, along with the certainty that everybody but my mother saw through me and did not like what they saw”(11) At this point in his life, freedom isn’t even in the picture. He is focused on achieving identity. He is trying to find himself. Towards the end of the memoir, we see a change, we see a new Toby almost. He writes, “Then we sang the roof-raisers. We sang them with respect and we sang them hard, swaying from side to side and dipping our shoulders in counterpoint. Between hymns we drank from the bottle. Our voices were strong. It was a good night to sing and we sang for all we were worth, as if we’d been saved”(288). We asked ourselves, how is it possible for Toby, who once spoke so demeaning about himself and so pitiful, was now speaking so positively, so strongly. The link between his happiness and positive speaking is freedom. He is finally free of all the things that were holding him back earlier. He writes it was as if he was saved, which kind of emphases this sense of freedom, but this freedom that comes with complications. He doesn’t know what lies ahead, his future is unknown, but he is optimistic.
It ends in a very similar way for Frederick Douglass in The Autobiography of Frederick Douglass. His entire life, Douglass has lacked freedom. When looking at Douglass’ life from an outsiders view, it seemed as though Freedom wasn’t something that was virtually possible. He struggles with self-identity but as time goes on; Frederick Douglass slowly gains identity, ultimately leading him towards freedom. For example, he expresses “My long-crushed spirit rose, cowardice departed, bold defiance took its place; and I now resolved that, however long I might remain a slave in form, the day had passed forever when I could be a slave in fact”(290). We see that he was once someone with no sense of place, no feeling of importance, and more importantly freedom. His life was defined by slavery up until now. He strongly expresses that he might look like a slave on the outside, but on the inside, he was no longer one, he had finally escaped and gained his own identity, his own freedom.
In both memoirs, we see Frederick Douglass Tobias Wolff ultimately gain what they want, self- identity and more importantly freedom. However, it is clear to us that yes they have finally gained freedom, but they didn’t gain complete freedom.
They in fact just gained more freedom. Complete freedom knowing that they are promised living in simplicity; living within society with no restrictions this is obvious with how both memoirs end; complicated. Toby escapes Dwight while Douglass escapes slavery, but there is still more freedom for them to achieve.
I pledge my honor that I have completed this work in accordance with the Honor Code.
-Katherine Kelly Cullen
Works Cited:
- Andrews, L. William Classic American Autobiographies:The Narrative of the life of Frederick Douglass Penguin Group USA New York 1992
- Wolff, Tobias This Boy’s Life; A Memoir. Grove Press; New York 1945
Kelly Cullen
Introduction to Non-Fiction
Professor Meehan
February 22, 2012
When you hear the word freedom, so much comes to mind. Freedom is supposed to be accompanied with and bring along happiness. It is something we are all supposed to be “guaranteed” with but to some, it is denied. We find this to be true through the life stories of authors and protagonists, Frederick Douglass in The Autobiography of Frederick Douglass and Tobias Wolff in This Boy’s Life. Both of these authors show us the complexity of freedom and what it means to be free. Throughout This Boy’s Life, Tobias Wolff has a constant struggle with self-identity, self-important as well as his freedom. He continues to face barriers and obstacles hindering him from self-improvement. His lack of self-importance, leads him to believe that he is the reason for the life that has been dealt to him and his mother. Because of him, he has an absent father, because of him, his mother constantly finds herself in abusive relationships. This is clear when he writes “I was subject to fits of feeling myself unworthy, somehow deeply at fault. It didn’t take much to bring this sensation to life, along with the certainty that everybody but my mother saw through me and did not like what they saw”(11) At this point in his life, freedom isn’t even in the picture. He is focused on achieving identity. He is trying to find himself. Towards the end of the memoir, we see a change, we see a new Toby almost. He writes, “Then we sang the roof-raisers. We sang them with respect and we sang them hard, swaying from side to side and dipping our shoulders in counterpoint. Between hymns we drank from the bottle. Our voices were strong. It was a good night to sing and we sang for all we were worth, as if we’d been saved”(288). We asked ourselves, how is it possible for Toby, who once spoke so demeaning about himself and so pitiful, was now speaking so positively, so strongly. The link between his happiness and positive speaking is freedom. He is finally free of all the things that were holding him back earlier. He writes it was as if he was saved, which kind of emphases this sense of freedom, but this freedom that comes with complications. He doesn’t know what lies ahead, his future is unknown, but he is optimistic. It ends in a very similar way for Frederick Douglass in The Autobiography of Frederick Douglass. His entire life, Douglass has lacked freedom. When looking at Douglass’ life from an outsiders view, it seemed as though Freedom wasn’t something that was virtually possible. He as well as Tobias Wolff struggle with self-identity but as time goes on; Frederick Douglass slowly gains identity, ultimately leading him towards freedom. For example, he expresses “My long-crushed spirit rose, cowardice departed, bold defiance took its place; and I now resolved that, however long I might remain a slave in form, the day had passed forever when I could be a slave in fact”(290). We see that he was once someone with no sense of place, no feeling of importance, and more importantly freedom. His life was defined by slavery up until now. He strongly expresses that he might look like a slave on the outside, but on the inside, he was no longer one, he had finally escaped and gained his own identity, his own freedom. In both memoirs, we see Frederick Douglass Tobias Wolff ultimately gain what they want, self- identity and more importantly freedom. However, it is clear to us that yes they have finally gained freedom, but they didn’t gain complete freedom. They in fact just gained more freedom. This is obvious with how both memoirs end; complicated. Toby escapes Dwight while Douglass escapes slavery, but there is still more freedom for them to achieve.
In the Autobiography of Frederick Douglas, that sense of freedom finally shines through. Throughout the memoir, Frederick Douglas is struggling with self-identity as well as attaining freedom. Finally when he expresses “My long-crushed spirit rose, cowardice departed, bold defiance took its place; and I now resolved that, however long I might remain a slave in form, the day had passed forever when I could be a slave in fact”(290). This is prime example that he finally is feeling and gaining that freedom he has been dying for the entire time. Even though he might be/ look like a slave on the exterior, but on the inside, he is not feeling like a slave and has already escaped slavery.
Frederick Douglas’ writing towards the end of the memoir mirrors self freedom as well as self-identity. It represents someone who has reached a new level of freedom, and has moved on with his life.
The conclusion of Tobias Wolff’s This Boy’s Life is actually quite interesting. When we first meet Tobias Wolff, it is clear that he has had a not so storybook childhood/life. The relationship between he and his mother is close one but at the same time strained. Their relationship is always stressed due to Toby’s mother’s history and repeat affection with abusive men. And that is when Dwight comes into the relationship.
In the end when things seem to be on track, history seems to catch up to Toby and his mother Rosemary. When Toby goes to school, Rosemary finds herself a job in Washington D.C., representing her way out, an escape from Dwight. However, Dwight follows her to Washington D.C. and proceeds to try to strangle her. Luckily, he fails and is ultimately arrested. When Toby writes “by the time i got home Dwight had been arrested. He was standing outside with my mother and two cops, staring at the ground, the lights of the cruiser flashing across his face.’Bastard’, I said…this was my last sight of him”(285) This passage is symbolic in the way that he shows they are moving on. Yes, not everything is perfect, but it’s time to make changes.
In the very last scene, when Toby writes “then we sang the roof-raisers. We sang them with respect and we sang them hard, swaying from side to side and dipping our shoulders in counterpoint. Between hymns we drank from the bottle. Our voices were strong. It was a good night to sing and we sang for all we were worth, as if we’d been saved”(288). I found this to be one of his strongest passages. I felt happy and positive for Toby. He seems positive for the future, for the unknown. Even though he has no idea what is ahead, Toby is looking at it as he was saved and given another chance at life.
This Boy’s Life; a memoir by Tobias Wolff shows the life of Toby (Jack) Wolff during his journey with his mother across country. Throughout this memoir, we see Toby’s constant battle with self-identity and his undying want of power. we see Toby having that so-called power when he is at home one day playing around with Roy’s gun when he writes “i sometimes had to bite my lip to keep from laughing in the ecstasy of my power over them, and at their absurd and innocent belief that they were safe”(25). At this point, he has that power he always seeked. However, a little after he writes “power can be enjoyed only when it is recognized and feared. Fearlessness in those without power is maddening to those who have it”(25), that power that he once seemed to confidently possess earlier is now gone and he is back to where he was, at step one longing for that power.
Like we discussed in class, many of the passages i read it is almost as if it wasn’t a ten-year old boy talking. For example, in the passage “among the trees I achieved absolute vacancy of mind. I had no thought of being hurt or of hurting anyone else, not even as i notched my arrow and pulled it back,intent on some movement in the shadows ahead..”(11) This passage is quite complicated. When i first read it, i thought to myself this is a mock war, just a group of ten-year old boys playing around. However, when i looked more into it, i noticed it was way more complex. This wasn’t just a group of boy’s having a mock war, there was more to it. Being such a complex passage also lead me to realize that it doesn’t seem like a ten-year old boy would talk this way.
Toby has a continuous struggle with identity and self-importance. In chapter two, he writes ” I was subject to fits of feeling myself unworthy, somehow deeply at fault. It didn’t take much to bring this sensation to life, along with the certainty that everybody but my mother saw through me and did not like what they saw (11, 12), we see that Toby has always struggle with feeling worthy of. I get the sense he blames himself for how his life has turned out so far. He holds himself accountable for the absence of his father and even the struggle his mother faces. He is in a constant battle with self-respect. Toby deals with this struggle of identity and self-importance through the power of imagination. Like i wrote earlier, he uses his imagination to help escape his life. The mock wars is a prime example. On page 55, when Toby writes “because she needed me, and to be needed made me feel capable” shows that he needs to be occupied. When he is needed, that is when he can identify himself as well as feel that self-importance.
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